how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You smell like stripper and shame
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
