I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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