so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Enjoy the penises
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
