Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
