the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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