i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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