Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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