the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
