sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
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you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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