Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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