I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
