I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
