He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
