let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
