The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
