it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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