I can tuck mytits in my pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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