he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
