The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
