when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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