If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
