Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
