No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize