I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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