how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
