I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
