I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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