"it" just moved
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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