Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
