"it" just moved
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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