Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
