is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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