So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you made out with another girl for some wings
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
