Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
