you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
