I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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