my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
