looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
