Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize