she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He passed out mid-signature
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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