am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
