Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
