the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
