Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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