No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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