The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
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apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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