i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
