please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
