Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
