Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
