The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
