and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i need some magic done to my vagina
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
