so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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