Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
