I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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