So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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