Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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