Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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