so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
