that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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