Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
