I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i out mim tonsoeep
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