never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
