Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
