Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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