I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
