Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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